Seriously...

LYRICS!

Actually, I only have lyrics for a few songs right now. I'll get the other ones up, as soon as I find my sheet.

Minty Fresh Lyrics

Intro: The Birth of Johnathan

Magical Gift

Learning the Gituar
Note: "Learning the Gituar" is entirerly instrumental, and there are, therefore, no lyrics.

Snack Bar

(Background noise: Murmur of voices, footsteps. Suddenly a Cash register rings.)

Johnny: $2.12 is your change. Thank you sir. (register shuts) God that man was annoying. "Can I have Nachos without cheese?" Yes. It's called 'chips'. Jesus.
Sara: Cheer up, Bwana. You're working in the famous Jethrodome! You get to see the greatest musical acts for free! What more could you want?
Johnny: To work it from stage.
Sara: What, like a roadie?
Johnny: No, like a Rocker.
Sara: YOU? You can't keep your mind on one thing for more than five minutes! It takes years of training and stuff. And Agents. And talent.
Johnny: I've got talent.
Sara: Yeah, ok. But you don't have any of that other stuff.
Johnny: So? Smoke it, I don't need it.
Sara: (laughs and snorts) Rocker...
Johnny: You know what? You laugh. You just go on and laugh, but when I start to form a band, you have to be in it.
Sara: I do, do I?
Johnny: Yes.
Sara: Whatever you say Diamond Dave
Johnny: Now see here, woman...
(sound of hurring feet)
Wap: Dude, you gotta come down. Double X is about to go on.
Johnny: Hells yeah. Just a second. Yo! Chuck! Can you cover for us for a couple minutes?
Voice(probably Chuck): Uh, shure.
Johnny: Right (creak, possibly a door opening. Footsteps) Sara: Johnny's gonna be in a baaand.
Wap: Cool. Can I be in?
Johnny: Why? (footsteps end.)
Wap: Well, these damn piano lessons mom's making me take have to be good for something.
Johnny: Sure. I tell you guys, one day, it'll be me and you guys up there, going forth.
Sara: Go on, Dreamer.(A couple of notes are played, then a voice says 1,2,3,4 into "Landscape")

Landscape of the Imagination

There's a place I know of where the sun shines every day
Where little creatures frolic and the bigger creatures play
Where there are no wars or acne and the landscape's beautiful
With green green grass under clear blue skies, and pollution, there's none at all.
It's a place so good and perfect and everybody's fine
but don't call your travel agent, this place is only in your mind

(Chorus)
The landscape of the imagination, that's where I make my home
Landscape of the imagination, where I go when I feel all alone.

No plane or bus can take you there, no way to hitch a ride
and when I want to be alone, it's my favorite place to hide
Anbything can happen there, so usually it does
You could be a rock star, or a spy with a fast car, or fly through the air like a dove.

(Chorus)

You can be anything you can think of, you can be anywhere that you care to be
You can do anything that you wanna do, fulfill every fantasy

There's a place I know of where the sun shines every day
Where the little creatures frolic and the bigger creatures play

The landscape of the imagination, that's where I make my home.
The landscape of the imagination, where I go when I feel all alone.(repeating to fade)

Off to College

New Kid

Garage session

Battle of the Bands: Minty Fresh!

Welcome to the Show lyrics

In the beginning...

Narrator: In the Beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, for it was Sunday, and there was nothing to do.

And God said, "Let There Be Light!" And there was light. And God looked down upon the Earth, which was at that time nothing more than a piece of barren rock. "For One" said God, "We Need Some Carpeting."

And so God created grass, with which he carpeted the Earth. And God saw the grass, and it was good.

"But," said God, "There Needs To Be More Colour Around The Place."

And so, God created flowers, which sprung up in beautiful colours of white, yellow, and scarlet. The trees He created also, which grew mightily from the ground and produced fruits of blue, yellow, orange and purple. and God saw these things, and they were good.

"But The Place Looks So Unlived In." said God.

And so, God created the beasts of the land, like the deer and rabbits and other cute animals, whose nature it was to play about in the forests with their families.

The birds of the air He created also. Birds like the quail, with beautiful plumage and aren't really a bother to anybody at all. And God saw all these things, and they were good.

"However, I'll Need Some People To Run The Place Locally While I'm Away."

And so, from the dust of the ground God created man and woman. And God looked upon Man and said, "Ehh, They'll Do."

Then God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and told them the ground rules.

"Now Here You May Do Anything Which Pleases You, But You Must Be Kind To The Animals, And You Must Take Care Of The Garden. And You Must Not Eat Fruit From The Forbidden Tree. Now I'm Leaving. Be Good While I'm Gone."

Of course, being in the nature of things, they ate from the forbidden tree and God came home at that point, as parents tend to do when they're on vacation and you're doing some thing bad.

"Alright, Everybody Out"

Man never really forgave God, and this is why now we kill deer and bunnes and such, and destroy the trees.

Haeful pasards, aint we?

Chip and Rayven on the Universe

(Ambient noises:Crickets chirping, a automobile engine humming, the car stereo playing soft music.)

RAYVEN(Sara V):It was really nice for your dad to lend you his convertable for our date, Chip.
CHIP(Woodstock):Yeah. It was right respectable of the old git.(Silence)
RAYVEN:Hey Chip?
CHIP:Yeah, Rayven?
RAYVEN:Tonight was great.
CHIP:It was no problem at all, sweetheart.
RAYVEN:I was really impressed by the way you caught that piece of garlic bread in your mouth.
CHIP:Thanks.(A somewhat longer silence)
RAYVEN:Hey, do you ever just look up at the stars like this and wonder, "Is there anything else out there"?
CHIP:Sometimes. Good a way to waste time as any.
RAYVEN:Do you ever wonder if there's like, cities on other planets, and extra-terrarial life?
CHIP:I think the word you're searching for is extra-terrestrial
RAYVEN:Really?
CHIP:Yes. Extra-terrestrial is from other planets. Extra-terrarial would mean space turtles.
RAYVEN: Well? Who says there can't be outer space turtles? Mabye there's a planet full of turtles and suchlike, and it's, like, turtle heaven.
CHIP: Yeah. Mabye there's a place like that for every kind of animal.(Silence)
RAYVEN: You think there's one for humans.
CHIP: I think this is it.
RAYVEN: We're making a pretty bloody mess of it.
CHIP: It should stop.
RAYVEN: Yeah. (The opening strains of "Natural Beauty" play over the radio) OOH. Turn it up, I love this song. (The volume increases, leading into the song.)

Natural Beauty

The Docks

Well, I'm sitting on the dock, drowning some bait
hopin' to catch somethin', but it don't seem to be my fate.
There are no fish in this here lake, none that I can see
but I just want to catch one fish before I have to leave.

(Chours)
I just want one fish
just one little fish
I just wanna catch one fish
before I must go home
I just want one fish
Just one little ol' fish
I just want one little fish
that I can call my own.

Now my rod's top of the line, and so is my bobber
and that's high quality bait, floating in the water
I've got the best equipment that money can buy
but I just can't catch a fish to save my sorry hide.

(Chours)

Now I'm standing on the dock, with a tug on my line
I reel the sucker in, just two pounds? Well, that's fine.
No man can say my fishing skills ain't good beacause all
they who say that will see my fish upon the wall.

Now I have one fish
A little two-pound fish
I just caught one fish
to hang upon my wall
I just caught one fish
a little fishy fish
I caught my little fish,
and now I'm walking tall.

Bubba and Kleetus on Religion

Why Spam Exists

The earliest known instace of Spam appearing dates back to Ancient Egypt. Archeologists and really nosy scientist people have discovered that, in addition to many other gods and godesses, they worshiped a minor deity called Spoom. Spoom was a clerk in the halls of Osiris, and was known more or less as the God of little lost items. Every fifth year, on the "Feast of Spoom", Egyptians ate a jelly-covered pork dish which bears much resemblace to the Spam we know and tolerate today.

The next noteable Spam instance is in Greece. It was they who coined the phrase SPAM. Historians are in a bit of debate about what SPAM actually meant. Some say it stood for Slimi Porci Animus Morturi, or "Slimy, Dead Pig Meat", while others hold that, since people attending the games in the Parthenon threw pigs down upon the winners of the battles, it was named after a combination of the Spartan, the Grecian's warlike bretheren and Ham. Spartan Ham. Spam. It makes sense, but people really read too much into these things.

Finally there is our modern day Spam, trademarked and mass-produced by the Hormel Food Company. Spam has played a role in pop culture throughout modern years, such as the famous Spam Can paintings by Andy Worhol, the hit song from Monty Python, a number of T-Shirts and other assorted pariphinalia, and, of course, the long running children's TV program, "Captain Spam and Morty, the Wonder Pig".

The End Of the Universe

MUSIC MAIN