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Once upon a time, deep within the realm of underpants, where the shark bubbles blow and out through the night and the whispering brezes, to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases, back in the actual day before the intervention of dogs into everyday society, there was a man called Quasi. Quasi had Bromedrosis, which us regular folks, who might wear tennis shoes or the occasional python boot, know by the name of "Stink Foot".
You stole that from Apostrophe, thou dork that thou art!
Bite me.
Anyway, he had "Stink Foot" and died of it. He had a very tasteful funeral a couple of days later, involving midgets. The midgets were hired through 'Small People' Employment Agency, which found work for out of work midgets. They were instrumental in giving Verne Troyer his role as 'Mini-Me' in Austin Powers. He shares a name with Mt. Vernon, which was President Jefferson's home, with George and Weezy. Rollo was not a character in that show. He was a part of Sanford and Son, with LaMont and Fred and Aunt Ester, who all died in the Watts riots. Snoop Dogg is from Compton, which, I understand is somewhat near the Watts area. Kid Rock isn't though. Kid Rock is from Detroit. Detroit is in Cleveland, or perhaps it's the other way around. Tex, however, was not from Texas, but from California. He was a Rhinestone Cowboy, which is also the name of a movie, as I recall. I saw that movie with Gilly and Weird and ziggy, who sang his songs of darkness and disgrace. But the band was still together, so that was alright. Somebody has got a hold of my beard. He will pay. Actually he will not, because he's a dwarf and the government gets really shirty about speciesism. Johnny D and William will do it for me, due to the fact that they can get away with anything they like. Eight foot tall people who own an amazing collecion of meidevial battle weaponry do not get in trouble much, because most cops aren't will ing to die for thirty bucks a week and a new vest every Hogswatch.
Careful...
BOINGBOINGBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING! went the Nomes as they hopped across the store. For has not Mills Bros. (est 1905) put all things under one room?. And those who said, Perhaps not all things, were severly laughed at, and then smacked. The cops found the bodies and didn't investigate much. It was probably dwarves anyway, knowing that the nomes and the dwarves had never reallly got on. I was asked to identify one of the bodies. I smiled sadly when they asked if I knew his name, and I said no. It never paid to put the finger on on of the notorious Nome Boyz, gang and part time rap group. They Killed Archie for calling them short, and the the Society said that it wasn't one of them, even though everybody knew that it was. And verily, back on a st8ick, between the days of our lives, which run like sand through the hourglass which is sort of stupidbecause everyone knows sand is on the beach and does not grow naturally in the hour glass. People making hourglasses today must have a bit of trouble filtering the syringes and used condoms out. They probably have people. The people are headed by Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, who also starred in an Elton John album. The alb8um contained the songs 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' and "Honky Cat'. I had a cat once called Honky Cat. My dad named it. He was drunk at the time, but we didn't see that as any reason to stop him hanging from the celing fan until he got flung off. He then held that his name was Captain Squoinky for the next few hours, but that was probably ust the concussion. We took him to he hospital and the ambulanc e hit a dog. The dog had been dared by his buddies to headbutt hte next oncoming car. He was given a croissant and a cup of tea. He could hav passed Elvis Aaron Prestly through his actual colon. Gravy train and kitty kibble was the food of the gds to him, except that the gods themselves actually perferred Kibbles + Bits and Beggin Strips. Dogs don't know it's not bacon, but the gods, being omniscient, did know it wasn't bacon and were p4retty annoyed. They attempted to scorch the Beggin Strips people, but the Powerpuff Girls caught the bold of lightning and tossed it aside harmlessly. Ant thus the day was saved.